DISCUSSION: Sex in YA
*this post includes affiliate links I have with Amazon*
Hello peepsies! So today I am doing a discussion on sex in YA because it’s a pretty popular “thing” that I’ve been seeing in the books I read. I don’t know if it’s because it’s actually becoming a regular thing or if I’m apparently just reading a lot of the books that include sex in them. Either way, let’s discuss….
So like I said, I’ve been seeing sex included in a lot of books. Some examples of such books are:
- Fire* by Kristin Cashore – includes mentions of it but doesn’t discuss a sex scene
- The Mortal Instruments* series – mentions sex a bit and describes sex maybe 1 or 2 times
- Throne of Glass* series by Sarah J Maas – includes some scenes but isn’t that steamy/explicit until later books
- The Fault In Our Stars* by John Green – gives a general description of sex but that’s really it
- Firsts* by Laurie Elizabeth Flynn – discusses/shows sex but isn’t exactly explicit
- A Court of Thorns & Roses* series by Sarah J Maas – get ready to be burned bc the sex scenes in here are steaaaaamy!
Ok that seems to be a good amount of examples. Now, as you can see, these are relatively popular books – some a little more than others – with varying degrees of sex in them from relatively little to “are my cheeks red? I shouldn’t read this in public.” All of these have one thing in common, they’re not really awkward at all. Well I haven’t read Firsts yet (2018 update: I read it and it’s amazing and it does show the awkwardness as far as I remember) so I can’t be sure about that one but every one of the other books doesn’t really feature the awkwardness that comes with sex. Especially when it’s your first time doing it. Even I know that and I haven’t kissed a guy let alone had sex (#themuslimlife LOL)! And that seems to be one of the problems of including sex in YA: teens may be openly talking about sex more but that doesn’t mean that there’s no awkwardness to it, both in doing it and in talking about it. Like for me, IRL, my friends used to discuss sex so often while we sat and ate lunch (I know it’s weird) but they would also say sometimes, how awkward it would get or it used to be for them and I personally get so uncomfortable about even SAYING the word sex. So erasing that new-ness and awkwardness of having and talking about sex in books is just unrepresentative of pretty much everyone and gives people unrealistic expectations of things.
This is made even worse when you consider how little people are taught about sex education. Like, at best, we get technical terms and where things go but, other than that, we’re left to fend for ourselves and in this day and age, that means our education comes from TV and from books. So if we see sex somewhere and it’s unrealistic, we don’t really have much to base it off of except the real thing thus (possibly) resulting in disappointment and confusion from both people.
Another thing on the topic of sex is that there are people who don’t do it while they’re young adults *gasp!*
“so read other books without sex! They’re out there!”, you say
Of the books I like to read and that are popular at the moment, that’s not really an option. Plus, I don’t want to go and read something else (wow that sounded like something a 5 yr old would say). Seriously though, lately it seems like every book I read has something to do with sex and, well, it’s not getting annoying per say, but it’s more like it’s becoming unrealistic and a bit less about the romance and love behind it and more like “let’s just do it” which is a bit bothersome. Anyways, I feel like I’m just rambling now so let’s get to the end….
Sex in YA is a good thing bc some young adults *do* have sex but it does not need to be everywhere as not everyone has sex when they’re young, for whatever reason (religion, personal, etc). As well, the way it’s being presented does not seem realistic: show the awkwardness and show people having sex for romantic reasons rather than just hookups.
I think that’s all…. Sorry if I was confusing or rambly or all. There’s a lot of points to cover that all go together in diff ways hence the rambly, confusedness. All in all, though, what do you think both about the post and about sex in YA? Do you like how it’s presented? Should there be more or less? Tell me all your thoughts in the comments below! Thank you! Have a great day/night and tata for now!
*This is an affiliate link I have with Amazon 🙂